Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
1155 hours
Being that the High School Ministry Team and the extremely handsome IT Team work for the same church, some peaceful transactions must occur. That's not to say the IT Team wont enter enemy territory unarmed and without backup. General Finn had a mission to enter HSMT territory and fix the T-Drive on Zack Barker's computer. Of course he brought along backup soldiers, Major Wessberg and w00t specialist Parker.
Tensions were high as the buff trio entered the front door and headed to Zack's office. Major Wessberg covered Rutenbar, Shannon, and Griffin on the left. w00t specialist Parker covered Holley and Pease on the right. General Finn made his way into Zack's office and began working. HSMT fingers twitched slightly as they tried to nervously rest on their triggers.
General Finn was finished and walked out. Wessberg and Parker backed out slowly behind him. They made it out safely. That mission was over.
UPDATE: A few minutes ago, Parker got a call from Jason Petty asking to fix his phone. Interesting....
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Wait
(THE FOLLOWING IS AN EXCERPT FROM A REBEL'S JOURNAL)
Major Shepard
Journal Entry # 7
Monday, January 5th, 2009
It's been weeks since our last battle. My wounds have almost completely healed, except for the heroic scar down the side of my arm. I'll have to live with it I guess. Oh well, it makes for a good conversation piece. It's not everyday you meet a man who was able to take out an entire army of nerf warriors while simultaneously wrestling two Bengal tigers into submission. It's a good thing those jet packs on the backs of the tigers malfunctioned as they did, otherwise I probably wouldn't have had enough time to disable that bomb that threatened the bus of school children hanging over the side of that cliff directly above the dynamite factory that sat between the orphanage and home for the elderly. Yeah, I got lucky.
We lost a lot of good men that day. Some didn't even make it past the shark infested lily pond. It's a shame. Most of those guys were pretty cool. I mean, I probably wouldn't hang out with any of them, but if I saw them at some kind of party or convention, I'd probably give them a head nod. But that's not important. What is important is that it's over. At least this battle is over. There are still more to come. I guess I'll just sit here and wait for the next. Psh, n00bs.
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
Major Shepard
Journal Entry # 7
Monday, January 5th, 2009
It's been weeks since our last battle. My wounds have almost completely healed, except for the heroic scar down the side of my arm. I'll have to live with it I guess. Oh well, it makes for a good conversation piece. It's not everyday you meet a man who was able to take out an entire army of nerf warriors while simultaneously wrestling two Bengal tigers into submission. It's a good thing those jet packs on the backs of the tigers malfunctioned as they did, otherwise I probably wouldn't have had enough time to disable that bomb that threatened the bus of school children hanging over the side of that cliff directly above the dynamite factory that sat between the orphanage and home for the elderly. Yeah, I got lucky.
We lost a lot of good men that day. Some didn't even make it past the shark infested lily pond. It's a shame. Most of those guys were pretty cool. I mean, I probably wouldn't hang out with any of them, but if I saw them at some kind of party or convention, I'd probably give them a head nod. But that's not important. What is important is that it's over. At least this battle is over. There are still more to come. I guess I'll just sit here and wait for the next. Psh, n00bs.
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The Ransom Part 2
Friday, December 19th, 2008 1600 hours
With Intern Jeff abducted and tied up, the Rebel Forces expected the HSMT to give in to their demands. w00t Parker entered enemy territory to retrieve a flash drive from a neighboring 'Switzerland-like' team. It was going to take about 5 minutes for the flash drive to finish transferring some files, so w00t Parker headed back to the Base I.T. (BIT). On the way out, he stopped to briefly speak to Katie Shannon (the trigger happy receptionist of the HSMT). The conversation below is not exactly what was said, but it is very close.
Parker: "Oh, hello Katie. I hope you're day is going very well."
Katie: "Bah! (random grunting and snarling) What do you want?"
Parker: "I was just inquiring as to whether or not your leader had received our ransom note."
Katie: "Yeah, we got it (more snarls)"
Parker: "And are you prepared to admit that you're all n00bs?"
Katie: "No, we're not."
Parker: "Very well. We thought you'd say that."
Parker reached in his pocket, pulled out a CD and handed it to Kaite.
Katie: "TEAM MEETING!"
The HSMT gathered in Zack Barker's office as Parker backed out and met up with his team at BIT. Here's what was on the CD:
Parker returned to retrieve his flash drive with General Finn and Major Wessberg as backup. It was tense. With their guns drawn, ready to fire, the Rebels crossed the enemy territory to arrive at the neutral team's zone. The HSMT had the Rebels in their crosshairs as they slowly moved in. The Rebels were supposed to enter, get the flash drive, and get out, but that's not how it happened.
As the flash drive was finishing its transfer, a glow in the dark nerf dart whizzed across the room and struck Parker in the chest. Katie Shannon, the trigger happy receptionist, had struck again. General Finn squeezed the trigger of his N-Strike Maverick and fired three well placed darts into Katie's side. Everybody jumped behind cubicles and the battle was on.
Major Wessberg took out Josh Pease with a clean head shot and wounded Ryanne Witt with a direct shot to the arm. As darts flew, General Finn fearlessly did a back flip over two cubicles while simultaneously unloading his Maverick into Zack Barker's back. Parker was in an intense firefight with Shannon and Pease. Every time he poked his head out from behind a cubicle, a stream of darts would fly inches away from his face. He put a fresh clip into his Recon CS-6, took a deep breath and charged out striking down both Shannon and Pease.
That's when tragedy struck. As Pease fell to the ground, he took one last shot at his better looking nemesis. With the force of Nerf regulated air pressure behind it, the glow in the dark dart pierced Parker in the neck, sending him straight to the floor. Time was slow. The sound of war was muffled. Parker could feel his heart beat slow down and get louder. Nerf darts quietly screamed overhead as Parker's eyes slowly scanned the battlefield. General Finn and Major Wessberg we being charged by the HSMT.
With all the strength he could muster, Parker took hold of his Recon CS-6 and pushed himself up. He cocked the gun back, loading a fresh dart in the chamber. He put Ryanne Witt in his sights and squeezed the trigger. *Click* Nothing. The gun had jammed!
Just then, Parker felt the barrel of a N-Strike Firefly pressed up against his back. Pease stood behind Parker, ready to fire and Barker slowly moved in. "Don't move" they demanded. Parker dropped his gun to his side, knowing full well his team would figure a way out of this.
Just when the HSMT thought they had won, Major Wessberg grabbed Katie Shannon and held his Recon CS-6 to her head. "We trade" he called to Pease and Barker. They looked at each other and reluctantly made the switch. With the team back together, General Finn made the call and the Rebels fell back to BIT.
At 1634 hours, Josh Pease entered BIT with weapon in hand. General Finn and w00t Parker pulled out their sidearms and kept him in their sights as he dropped off an envelope on Major Wessberg's desk. Here is a picture of the contents:
Jeff Baker's name plaque has "RIP" written in red marker.
This war is just getting started.
~Parker
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
With Intern Jeff abducted and tied up, the Rebel Forces expected the HSMT to give in to their demands. w00t Parker entered enemy territory to retrieve a flash drive from a neighboring 'Switzerland-like' team. It was going to take about 5 minutes for the flash drive to finish transferring some files, so w00t Parker headed back to the Base I.T. (BIT). On the way out, he stopped to briefly speak to Katie Shannon (the trigger happy receptionist of the HSMT). The conversation below is not exactly what was said, but it is very close.
Parker: "Oh, hello Katie. I hope you're day is going very well."
Katie: "Bah! (random grunting and snarling) What do you want?"
Parker: "I was just inquiring as to whether or not your leader had received our ransom note."
Katie: "Yeah, we got it (more snarls)"
Parker: "And are you prepared to admit that you're all n00bs?"
Katie: "No, we're not."
Parker: "Very well. We thought you'd say that."
Parker reached in his pocket, pulled out a CD and handed it to Kaite.
Katie: "TEAM MEETING!"
The HSMT gathered in Zack Barker's office as Parker backed out and met up with his team at BIT. Here's what was on the CD:
Parker returned to retrieve his flash drive with General Finn and Major Wessberg as backup. It was tense. With their guns drawn, ready to fire, the Rebels crossed the enemy territory to arrive at the neutral team's zone. The HSMT had the Rebels in their crosshairs as they slowly moved in. The Rebels were supposed to enter, get the flash drive, and get out, but that's not how it happened.
As the flash drive was finishing its transfer, a glow in the dark nerf dart whizzed across the room and struck Parker in the chest. Katie Shannon, the trigger happy receptionist, had struck again. General Finn squeezed the trigger of his N-Strike Maverick and fired three well placed darts into Katie's side. Everybody jumped behind cubicles and the battle was on.
Major Wessberg took out Josh Pease with a clean head shot and wounded Ryanne Witt with a direct shot to the arm. As darts flew, General Finn fearlessly did a back flip over two cubicles while simultaneously unloading his Maverick into Zack Barker's back. Parker was in an intense firefight with Shannon and Pease. Every time he poked his head out from behind a cubicle, a stream of darts would fly inches away from his face. He put a fresh clip into his Recon CS-6, took a deep breath and charged out striking down both Shannon and Pease.
That's when tragedy struck. As Pease fell to the ground, he took one last shot at his better looking nemesis. With the force of Nerf regulated air pressure behind it, the glow in the dark dart pierced Parker in the neck, sending him straight to the floor. Time was slow. The sound of war was muffled. Parker could feel his heart beat slow down and get louder. Nerf darts quietly screamed overhead as Parker's eyes slowly scanned the battlefield. General Finn and Major Wessberg we being charged by the HSMT.
With all the strength he could muster, Parker took hold of his Recon CS-6 and pushed himself up. He cocked the gun back, loading a fresh dart in the chamber. He put Ryanne Witt in his sights and squeezed the trigger. *Click* Nothing. The gun had jammed!
Just then, Parker felt the barrel of a N-Strike Firefly pressed up against his back. Pease stood behind Parker, ready to fire and Barker slowly moved in. "Don't move" they demanded. Parker dropped his gun to his side, knowing full well his team would figure a way out of this.
Just when the HSMT thought they had won, Major Wessberg grabbed Katie Shannon and held his Recon CS-6 to her head. "We trade" he called to Pease and Barker. They looked at each other and reluctantly made the switch. With the team back together, General Finn made the call and the Rebels fell back to BIT.
At 1634 hours, Josh Pease entered BIT with weapon in hand. General Finn and w00t Parker pulled out their sidearms and kept him in their sights as he dropped off an envelope on Major Wessberg's desk. Here is a picture of the contents:
Jeff Baker's name plaque has "RIP" written in red marker.
This war is just getting started.
~Parker
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Ransom
After the first strike, it was clear that the HSMT were all n00bs, but they refused to admit it. So, the Rebel Forces of I.T. had to do a little persuading by abducting one of the High School Ministry Team interns, Jeff Baker and holding him for ransom.
On Friday, December 19th 2008 at 0800 hours, Major Brent Wessberg entered enemy territory and delivered this:
.jpg)
A nerf USB flash drive with a message inside:
The HSMT was given until the end of the day to admit they were all n00bs or else Jeff would get it!
~Parker
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
On Friday, December 19th 2008 at 0800 hours, Major Brent Wessberg entered enemy territory and delivered this:
.jpg)
A nerf USB flash drive with a message inside:
The HSMT was given until the end of the day to admit they were all n00bs or else Jeff would get it!
~Parker
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Warning
Thursday, December 18th, 2008 0900 hours
The Rebel Forces of I.T. came across this picture posted around the High School Ministry Team territory:
.jpg)
The Rebel Forces were very amused and flattered. So they decided to do this:
~Parker
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
First Strike
Tuesday, December 16th, 2008
1200 hours
It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was about to reach full mast when the Rebel Forces congregated to go to lunch. As they approached the Demilitarized Zone (where the hallways cross), General Nathan Finn (General Finn) and Weaponry Optimizing Operative Tactics Parker (w00t Parker) overheard a hullabaloo of nerf gun fire coming from HSMT territory. A recon team was sent in to investigate. The HSMT were running around, shooting each other like a bunch of wild animals (who grew opposable thumbs and gained enough intellence to opperate a trigger).
At 1300 hours, the Rebel Forces returned from Chick-fil-a and planned to blitz the HSMT while they were distracted. With nerf guns locked and loaded, General Finn led the charge across the demilitarized zone and into enemy territory. The HSMT were completely taken by surprise and I'm pretty sure one or two of them peed their pants. With wet jeans and half empty guns, the HSMT ran for cover.
The cacophony of releasing springs and cocking guns filled the room. HSMT heads poked up from behind cubicles just to have streamline darts wizz pass their faces. The Rebel Forces fearlessly charged in further with their bulging muscles and great smiles. The HSMT leader, Josh Griffin, was surrounded.
"I surrender" He cried.
With his gun lowered to his waste, General Griffin quickly aimed up and took out two of the Rebels. The rest jumped back and unloaded their clips into the pastor's chest. The battle was over and the Rebel Forces of I.T. were victorious! The HSMT were left to pick up their wounded and darts.
~Parker
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
1200 hours
It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was about to reach full mast when the Rebel Forces congregated to go to lunch. As they approached the Demilitarized Zone (where the hallways cross), General Nathan Finn (General Finn) and Weaponry Optimizing Operative Tactics Parker (w00t Parker) overheard a hullabaloo of nerf gun fire coming from HSMT territory. A recon team was sent in to investigate. The HSMT were running around, shooting each other like a bunch of wild animals (who grew opposable thumbs and gained enough intellence to opperate a trigger).
At 1300 hours, the Rebel Forces returned from Chick-fil-a and planned to blitz the HSMT while they were distracted. With nerf guns locked and loaded, General Finn led the charge across the demilitarized zone and into enemy territory. The HSMT were completely taken by surprise and I'm pretty sure one or two of them peed their pants. With wet jeans and half empty guns, the HSMT ran for cover.
The cacophony of releasing springs and cocking guns filled the room. HSMT heads poked up from behind cubicles just to have streamline darts wizz pass their faces. The Rebel Forces fearlessly charged in further with their bulging muscles and great smiles. The HSMT leader, Josh Griffin, was surrounded.
"I surrender" He cried.
With his gun lowered to his waste, General Griffin quickly aimed up and took out two of the Rebels. The rest jumped back and unloaded their clips into the pastor's chest. The battle was over and the Rebel Forces of I.T. were victorious! The HSMT were left to pick up their wounded and darts.
~Parker
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
How the War Began
The Beginning
There has been much speculation and theory on how this office nerf war began. Many claim a few rogue I.T. team members surprise attacked High School Ministry General, Josh Griffin, while he was leaving the bathroom. However, there is no direct evidence that this event ever occurred.
Others claim that the High School Ministry Team (HSMT) was extremely jealous of the I.T. Team's good looks and accelerated brain power. As their envy grew, so did their rage. Thus, they all aquired nerf guns in order to challenge their superiours in a futile war. Although this is the most likely reason for the HSMT's purchasing of nerf guns, it does not explain what actually instigated the nerf war. That is a well known fact among both sides.
The Instigation
On December 11, 2008 at 1200 hours, Katie Shannon called the HelpDesk, asking for somebody to install Office 2007 on Raynne Witt's laptop. At 1412 hours, Parker Stech arrived to installed the requested software. At 1414 hours, while sitting at Ryanne's desk, Parker was shot in the back with a nerf dart. He turned around to see Katie, holding a Hasbro Nerf N-Strike Friefly REV-8, with nerf smoke still coming out of the barrel.
The Declaration
At 1417 hours, Parker returned to I.T. territory and reported the incident to his team. Thus, the Rebel Forces of I.T. was formed. They purchased and modified their own nerf weapons over the next few days. Once they were ready for war, the brilliant Rebels drafted a Declaration War.
The Delivery
On December 15th, 2008 at 1600 hours, the Rebel Forces marched into HSMT territory and delivered the Declaration of War on Katie Shannon's chair.
.jpg)
On the morning of Tuesday, December 16th, 2008, the HSMT received the Declaration of War. Now that everything was official, the war had begun.
~Parker
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
There has been much speculation and theory on how this office nerf war began. Many claim a few rogue I.T. team members surprise attacked High School Ministry General, Josh Griffin, while he was leaving the bathroom. However, there is no direct evidence that this event ever occurred.
Others claim that the High School Ministry Team (HSMT) was extremely jealous of the I.T. Team's good looks and accelerated brain power. As their envy grew, so did their rage. Thus, they all aquired nerf guns in order to challenge their superiours in a futile war. Although this is the most likely reason for the HSMT's purchasing of nerf guns, it does not explain what actually instigated the nerf war. That is a well known fact among both sides.
The Instigation
On December 11, 2008 at 1200 hours, Katie Shannon called the HelpDesk, asking for somebody to install Office 2007 on Raynne Witt's laptop. At 1412 hours, Parker Stech arrived to installed the requested software. At 1414 hours, while sitting at Ryanne's desk, Parker was shot in the back with a nerf dart. He turned around to see Katie, holding a Hasbro Nerf N-Strike Friefly REV-8, with nerf smoke still coming out of the barrel.
The Declaration
At 1417 hours, Parker returned to I.T. territory and reported the incident to his team. Thus, the Rebel Forces of I.T. was formed. They purchased and modified their own nerf weapons over the next few days. Once they were ready for war, the brilliant Rebels drafted a Declaration War.
The Delivery
On December 15th, 2008 at 1600 hours, the Rebel Forces marched into HSMT territory and delivered the Declaration of War on Katie Shannon's chair.
.jpg)
On the morning of Tuesday, December 16th, 2008, the HSMT received the Declaration of War. Now that everything was official, the war had begun.
~Parker
Disclaimer: Event described in the above post may have been somewhat over exaggerated and/or completely made up.
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